Use modal verbs like ‘would,’ ‘could,’ ‘may,’ and ‘might’ to reduce certainty and appear more cooperative.

  • “This is a problem” becomes “This could be a challenge.”
  • “This idea will not work” transforms into “This idea might not work.”
  • “You should complete the task” softens to “You could consider completing the task.”

Alternatives to Can’t and Won’t: Navigating Disagreements

Avoid phrases like ‘can’t’ and ‘won’t’ in negotiations. Opt for alternatives such as ‘be unable’ or ‘not in a position to’ for a more diplomatic tone.

  • “We won’t accept a deadline of two weeks” changes to “We are not in a position to accept a deadline of two weeks.”
  • “I can’t support your proposal” becomes “I am unable to fully support your proposal.”
  • “We can’t meet your request” transforms into “Regrettably, we are unable to meet your request.”

The Passive: Eliminating Blame

Utilize passive constructions to eliminate blame and focus on the issue.

  • “You made a mistake in the calculations” becomes “A mistake was made in the calculations.”
  • “They must address the issue” changes to “The issue must be addressed by them.”
  • “You should complete the report” transforms into “The report should be completed.”

Passive Phrases: Creating Distance

Use passive phrases such as ‘it was said,’ ‘it was thought,’ ‘it was understood,’ and ‘it is assumed’ to avoid direct blame.

  • “You said the product was ready for release” changes to “It was said that the product was ready for release.”
  • “They thought the project would be completed by now” becomes “It was thought that the project would be completed by now.”
  • “You understood the requirements” transforms into “It was understood that the requirements were clear.”

The Continuous Form: Softening Messages

Use the continuous form to soften messages and suggest ongoing hope or opportunity.

  • “We hoped to sign the contract today” becomes “We were hoping to sign the contract today.”
  • “I thought of a different approach” changes to “I was thinking of a different approach.”
  • “We expected a response by now” transforms into “We were expecting a response by now.”

Polite Conditionals: Inviting Cooperation

Transform imperative statements into polite conditionals to invite cooperation.

  • “Send it back as soon as possible” becomes “I would appreciate it if you sent it back as soon as possible.”
  • “Complete the task by Friday” changes to “I would be grateful if you could complete the task by Friday.”
  • “Please provide the information promptly” transforms into “I would appreciate it if you could provide the information promptly.”